Category Archives: Swimming

My Swimming Fiasco


Well, Ela is now 2 months old so I figured it’s about time I got back in the water. The 2 dozen chocolate chip cookies I consumed in the past 36 hours may also have something to do with this decision. Having made this decision I was required to buy a new suit so I went shopping. I had just 1 hour to find one before I was due back at the health club to swap the children for my freedom. I failed to find an appropriate suit at the discount store I usually have success at so I decided to go straight to Sports Authority where I knew I’d find what I was looking for. Damn are suits expensive! But I needed one immediately so I found the fun, neon suits by a somewhat off brand and tried on a few sizes. Let’s just say I’m delusional. I must have been 14 years old the last time I fit into the tiny sized suit that I foolishly grabbed. I also grabbed the next size up which I was at least able to squeeze into but was most certainly NOT purchasing. I peeled it off my body and noticed that my blubber, er, um, skin was turning red. So I put those darn suits back, grabbed the next size up and decided that was going to have to do because there was no way in hell I was going back in the fitting room for more trauma. So then I drove back to the health club, parked and started nursing my kid for the next 20 minutes in hopes that my boobs would deflate a bit so the suit would have a better chance of stretching over my ass! And guess what? It worked! The suit fit. It was a bit on the snug side but that’s a good thing considering I expect to be down a size or so soon enough. So at 7:10 tonight, just about the time some Olympic hopefuls were swimming their way to London in Omaha, I too was swimming.

After 1,200 yards I called it good and realized that my core is seriously lacking strength. And after a long hot shower I realized that I forgot to grab towels. So as I stood there naked I weighed my options; should I make a break for the towels since there weren’t many people around or wait and ask the next person I saw to help my dumb ass out. I almost ran for it but just as I was stepping out someone came around the corner and I sheepishly asked for the assistance I desperately needed. All covered up I walked to my locker and realized I had made another amateur mistake. I didn’t lock my locker. Oh well, everything was still there so no biggie. It just made me feel like a bigger dope but I’m use to that feeling by now. And as I post this I am drinking a beer and feeling happy that I regained a little piece of myself tonight despite how ungracefully the processes unfolded.

Mama would not be happy with me…


If my mom knew what i did, or rather what i didn’t do, she’d tell me, “Colleen, I taught you better than that!” And really she did.

So what is it exactly that she wouldn’t be thrilled about, you ask?

It’s the fact that I currently look like a tomato. Yup, I got burnt today while at the pool.

Here is my pitiful attempt at taking a picture to show you the burn. It looks worse the lower my shirt goes but I’m not ready to bare it all to you, no matter how much I love you. Please note that those soon-to-be tan lines didn’t exist before today. I’m so photogenic, aren’t I?

In case you’re wondering, I was a good mommy myself and my kids were thoroughly coated in sunblock and show no signs of negligence. I count that as a win.

Here’s what happened…

…In an effort to get out of the stuffy and stinky family changing room at the pool I half-assed sprayed myself with sunscreen while I still had clothes on and forgot to go back and reapply once I was in my suit. As it turns out, my mental capacities aren’t adequate enough to properly care for myself while juggling 3 kids at a public pool.

It seems I still need my mommy, at least to sunscreen my back.  In the event my mommy can’t chaperone me everywhere in the future, tonight Lilly offered to spray me down next time. I can’t wait to see what design my sunburn takes with her “help”. Then she told me she would scratch it for me in the morning. OUCH! is all I could think. I  had to kindly declined that offer and explain why. Girlfriend obviously has never been burnt before and that”s the way it’ll stay, at least on my watch!

Have fun this summer and, mommies, be sure to wear sunscreen!

Pros and Cons of a Big-Ass Belly


Well, there are 3 days left until my due date and probably another 5 or so after that before I have this kid and my belly just keeps getting bigger. As it expands, I have frequently taken note of the few occasions in which having a big belly has been preferable as well as the seemingly many more occasions when it’s just been a nuisance. I’ve taken the liberty to outline them for you below:


Pros of having a big-ass belly:

1. It serves as a great resting place for things like hands and ice cream bowls.

2. A body pillow isn’t really necessary to support my belly at night while sleeping. The belly is fully supported by the bed instead.

3. People seem a lot more friendly and smile at you more often, especially at the gym.

4. It serves as great butt support for the kids when I pick them up to carry them.


Cons of having a big-ass belly:

1. Anything that drips out of my mouth lands on my belly instead of inconspicuously falling onto the ground. I especially notice this while brushing my teeth.

2. I bump into people at stores because I forget how far it extends outward. This has happened numerous times while trying to sneak past someone to grab a gallon of milk. Pregnant people with large bellies aren’t meant to be sneaky.

3. It is built-in drag for swimming. This could be a pro if I were training for a championship meet but since I’m obviously not, it is definitely a con.

4. In 2 months my swim suit has stretched out so much that it is another source of drag on top of the belly itself.

5. Many of my maternity shirts look like belly shirts at this point. My wearable maternity wardrobe has decreased dramatically based on stuff I just won’t wear and things that no longer fit.


As you can see, the pros and cons are almost balanced though the cons do edge out the pros. Here’s to hoping I don’t have to dwell on these pros and cons much longer. Although, to be honest, I’m feeling really good for being 39 1/2 weeks pregnant so it’s not that big of a deal to go a little longer. I’m just anxious to meet the bugger and find out the sex! Plus, my swim suit is getting so stretched out I’m almost embarrassed to wear it anymore.



Baby chicks and baby bumps


It’s Spring and with Spring comes all sorts of things baby related.

For one, we are getting baby chicks. My wonderful mother-in-law is raising them for us right now at her place until I’m ready to bring them home which will probably be after baby #3 comes along. Yesterday the kids got to hold them for the first time.


And of course there is the upcoming birth of our baby. Just under 5 weeks until my due date!  Here’s a pic of me from the other night in that silly red shirt.

I’m 35 weeks and feeling pretty great. I’ve been swimming for about 4 weeks now, 4-5 times per week and it’s done wonders for my pelvic pain. I don’t break down into tears from the pain anymore and I know that makes my husband a whole lot happier. I can move around freely, play with the kids outside and carry them again when they need some extra lovin’. It’s amazing! I just wish I would have started swimming sooner.

I must say though, that my backstroke these days is a sight to behold. My father-in-law was swimming with me the other night and laughed at the sight of my belly rotating from side to side above the water.  He said the baby was probably getting sea-sick in my belly from all the swaying. Honestly, he might be right because I swear the kiddo inside is bracing itself against my ribs as I swim. It’s not the most comfortable feeling and my body is anything but stream line but I’m feeling stronger at least and am less worried about the upcoming labor.

For shits and giggles, here’s a red shirt, baby bump play-by-play spanning the past 12 weeks.


23 Weeks                                                           28 Weeks                                                            35 Weeks

With just about a month to go I think it’s time to start thinking about the things I need to acquire for baby #3 and all the prep work I’d like to accomplish before baby’s arrival. But instead, I’m going to go outside and play with the kids and chuckle as my husband tries to hang a tire swing from the tree that just keeps dropping branches. Stay tuned for scenes from this debacle, I mean adventure…






And I’m Back!


Back in the water that is. It’s already been 5 years since my swimming career came to a halt and it’s been 4 years since I’ve swam regularly. Man have I missed the smell of chlorine. There’s nothing quite like licking your skin hours after being in the pool and getting a big whiff of it. Chlorine and the pool put me in a happy place, especially now because it’s my alone time. No kids. Just me. Ahhhh, so nice.









I didn’t think I’d ever convince Cullen to get a health club membership and as it turns out, I didn’t have to.  He was willing to sign up without any whining on my part since a knee injury has kept him from running for two years now.  The lure of childcare and a swimming pool was all it took. Well, that and what the scale was reading…

This morning, after dropping Lil off at school, O and I took our first trip to the health club. I was a little worried that Odin would have a meltdown in the childcare center and one of the workers would come get me. I was expecting it. Actually, truth be told I was expecting not to even make it into the pool today. I figured we’d have to make multiple trips to the childcare center to let O get acclimated before I’d be able to leave him. These were my expectations because  I tried a health club membership when Lilly was O’s age. She refused to stay in the childcare center without sobbing in the fetal position the entire time I was gone. It was a pathetic sight.  As it turns out, O is not like his sister and simply waved as I walked out.

I’m ecstatic to report that I was left in peace for my entire workout. I swam for 45 minutes and got 2000 yards in. The first 300 yards were brutal as my arms protested the repetitive strokes. Lots of stretching ensued. I was doing open turns due to my pregnant state and feeling like an amateur. I finally sucked it up and tried a flip turn. I was successful and all was well with my psyche after that.

I feel like I have regained a little piece of my former self. Ya know, the person I was before kids ruled my life. I’m working on being able to classify myself as an athlete again. Of course, in just about 8 weeks I’ll have to put my membership on hold for 4 months until I can put the newbie in childcare but It’s going to be a great 8 weeks. And as an added bonus Lil is now signed up for swim lessons! It starts this week and goes right up to my due date which, as long as everything goes according to plan, should be perfect.

I’m currently a little exhausted and following my workout I was ravenous but it feels so good and working out puts me in such a better mental state. O is currently messing with that good mental state as he is protesting his nap meaning I won’t be able to take a little rest. STINKER!

Oh well. Life is good!