Organic Gifts From a Toddler

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You know how pets, after killing an animal, will proudly carry its freshly massacred prize back home? It’s like a gift for their owners except their owners never asked for a gift. This is how I feel about toddlers and their desire to share their fecal matter with the world.

“MOM! ELA JUST POOPED IN MY ROOM!”

It’s a line you’d rather not hear from your oldest daughter, after a night of insomnia, as you’re stumbling to get three kids and your mess of a self ready for school but it’s exactly what I heard this morning while getting dressed.

I heard this undesirable information after just having put a fresh diaper on my munchkin’s little butt. I guess she can now take her diaper off. Isn’t that swell?

(Uncle John, how happy is your heart right now? I hate you!)

I just hope this isn’t the start of a phase of artistic expression using fecal matter. We already went through that phase with her older sister. It was horrible! Her most noteworthy moments during this stage involved finger painting her bedroom carpet on multiple occasions, pooping on top of her bookshelf (how she got down safely without disturbing the natural placement of the poop still boggles me) and placing her poop into her dump truck. It was a whole lot of nasty and I never knew what condition I was going to find her and her room in after nap time. Needless to say potty training was difficult with that child. I’m still scarred from it.

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If it happens again with Ela there will be no more running around in a diaper, her favorite attire, for a while.

I hope you never have to experience the results of poop-art but you probably will because kids…and animals too…are curious creatures.

And gross.

As I always say, they’re just lucky they’re so darn cute! And I guess I’m lucky my two dogs don’t leave me gifts on my doorstep or bed!

Happy Thursday!

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