Monthly Archives: July 2012

Teddy Bear Picnic

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So I’ve found a new blog (http://www.se7en.org.za/) with a lot of good stuff in it. On the right hand side is their calendar full of fun things listed most days of the month to celebrate. For instance, yesterday was sugar cookie day (Gasp! I didn’t get any cookies made) and today was teddy bear picnic day. I’m not entirely certain if it’s national teddy bear picnic day or the family that blogs just chose today to picnic with their teddies on this day. Either way, I don’t really care. It gave me the motivation to gear up for a new sort of picnic with a few of our furry friends.

Of course this picnic plan almost got ditched because my children decided to be wholly terrors this morning and couldn’t snap themselves out of it. Even when our friends came for an hour to play they were still being stinkers. I think the great day we had yesterday was just a set up for the craptastic morning they were going to bless me with today. I dangled the teddy bear picnic idea in front of my darling 4 year old like a carrot as I beat her with the stick in hopes that she would get rid of the uglies (as we call her nasty behavior) and be a pleasant human being for the remaining 1 hour leading up to our picnic.

It didn’t work.

Her uglies flaired and I called off the picnic. Wahhh! We were both upset and she even looked at me and said, “But we really are going… right?” To which I responded, “Nope. You and your uglies ruined that plan.”

Guess what? Yup. You guessed it. I renigged on that decision/threat/punishment/whatever. I am constantly undermining my own parenting.  I haven’t figured out what constitutes a severe enough punishment for Lil that will get her to change her bad behavior without punishing myself or little O in the process. I’m a parent in progress. But aren’t most parents?

I’m gonna assume you all just agreed with me…

So I made my misbehaving children lay on the couch, close their eyes, snore a little and pretend to wake up all over again. We needed to restart our day. It seemed like a good way to do it and get everyone smiling again. We were meeting friends after all and gosh darn it going to be pleasant company!

I packed the car up with all the gear we’d need and got to the park on time. Set up our blanket, bears and our lunch and enjoyed the cool breeze and our friends. But of course I forgot my camera!!! Waaahhhh! We spent 2 1/2 hours picnicking, splashing in the splash pad, playing on the play set and walking around the pond. We were all hot and tired out but happy.

On the way home we decided the best way to cool off and relax from all our fun was to enjoy the air conditioning from our couch and watch the Polar Express. And as I type this the movie is concluding and I still have a happy household. Yippee! Let’s hope that can continue for another 3 1/2 hours until I put them to bed!

Spice things up this summer! Go on a teddy bear picnic, even if it kills ya!!!

Reacting to Mini Terrorists

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4 year olds test boundaries. It’s like their job or something and they are really freaking good at it. Most of the time they know the rules and what is and is not appropriate behavior but they make a conscious decision to go against what they know and see what happens. The way we react as parents to these tests (horrendously stupid behavior) either makes us feel like champs or assholes, or sometimes a little of both.

A major “test” occurred two days ago. My darling 4 year old looked me square in the eyes and then, while holding my stare, she turned the chocolate milk bottle upside down and poured about 12 oz of milk all over the back seat. I think she was mad at me for drinking some but I had already explained that she didn’t in fact need 16 oz of chocolate milk and we all were sharing. I think she was hungry. I think she was tired of sitting in the truck. I think the iPad has a negative effect on her behavior. I think I’m still trying to come up with a good excuse for this ridiculous behavior. When it happened I saw red and screamed. A few swear words may have slipped out. I’m not proud of that and feel a bit like an asshole but I was reacting to an asshole move on my daughter’s part so I’m counting this all as a wash. I was appalled and shocked and furious.  There was milk all over her dolls, her daddy’s backpack, herself and car seat and the other miscellaneous things that were on the floor. The real “test” was actually in regards to my ability to rebound from this and not let it ruin the rest of my day with the kids. After spending 20 minutes in 102 degree weather wiping and soaking up the mess I was less than thrilled and had to take some deep breaths and a Mommy time out before I was able to laugh and play with my girl again.

The second “test” occurred yesterday when we went to get our oil changed. We picked up some lunch on the way  and while the Tahoe was being serviced we ate our lunch in the air conditioned waiting room. Lilly ate her food and was eating her Frosty and suddenly it was all over herself and the floor. I blurted out, “Really?! Are you kidding me?!” Definitely an asshole response. It’s not like she did it on purpose like the day before. She was bummed to have dumped her dessert and I didn’t make her feel any better. Luckily her daddy sent the evil queen (me) out to get wet wipes and to cool off while he helped his little princess cheer up and clean up.

Mommy = asshole reaction x 2.

Daddy = champ reaction x 2.

Dang!

And then we went and picked up my new ride. I think it’s going to be a long time before chocolaty beverages are allowed in it!!!

Love,

The Evil Queen

(who is working on kinder reactions to these “tests”)