Never underestimate the power of a good bedtime story…

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…especially when said story involves poop and pee.

For the past 4 or 5 months I’ve been telling Lil a bedtime story about the adventures of Princess Lillian and her rascally brother Odin. Tonight she wanted Daddy to put her to bed which meant no story. I figured it was a win for me since it’s hard thinking up a new adventure story every night! Realistically though I also figured I’d wind up telling Lil a story tonight anyways since she’s been having trouble going to sleep. She gets out of bed and tells us she hates her room and can’t sleep. It’s frustrating but usually another snuggle gets the job done. As expected tonight was no exception so I went up and told her a story. She requested the same story as last night. It had made her giggle. A lot. And it had put her in a happy, agreeable mood conducive to the idea of going to sleep.

Here’s how it went. Both times:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once upon a time in a far away land lived a princess named Lillian and her rascally brother Odin. Everyday they would go on an adventure and on this day they did nothing. They sat in their big castle and did absolutely nothing, nothing and more nothing. Until they were entirely bored of doing nothing. All of a sudden a dog burst through the castle doors and raced up and down the stairs, in and out of the kitchen, under the table and through the chair legs. The dog then ran into the living room, knocked over the lamp and peed on the carpet. <Lots of Lilly giggles> Princess Lillian continued to do nothing as she watched the dog run rampant through her castle but her rascally brother Odin jumped up and chased the dog shouting, “NO WOOF! GO ‘WAY WOOF!” <Lots more Lilly giggles>  The dog then charged the Princess and knocked her over, put his paws on her chest and licked her face as she spit and pushed the dog trying to get him to leaver her alone so she could continue doing nothing. Odin ran over to help his sister, pulled the dog by the tail and shouted, “NO WOOF! MY WIWWY (Lilly) OFF, WOOF!” <Giggles and more giggles>

As all this commotion was going down a cat ran through the open doors hissing and meowing as it too ran up and down the stairs, in and out of the kitchen, through the dining room and into the living room where it jumped up on the sofa and pooped! <Fits of laughter> At this point Princess Lillian, the dog and Odin were all doing nothing but staring in awe at the cat. After it finished pooping <giggle, giggle> the cat ran straight towards Odin and pounced on him, knocking the little prince to the ground. The nasty cat sat on Odin’s face and licked his nose with its rough tongue. This made Lillian laugh while Odin cried, “NO CAT! OFF ME, MEOW! WIWWY!!!” <Lilly laughing into her covers>

With Princess Lillian pinned under the dog and Prince Odin pinned under the cat the two royal children could do nothing but continue doing what they were doing earlier, which was nothing. All of a sudden the dog says to the cat, “That was pretty impressive pooping on the couch like that.” <Lilly laughing> The cat replied, “Your pee pee on the carpet was also pretty impressive.” <more giggles> “I like you cat. You have character. Let’s be friends,” says the dog. “Meow,” replies the cat. And the two animals remove themselves from their royal pillows and walk out the open doors, tails wagging.

The End

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The effect was the same as it was last night. I don’t think it was only the poop and pee references that made Lil laugh. I think what also made her giggle so much was my impersonation of her brother. She really likes him and gets a kick out of the fact that he can’t pronounce words well. I was a little worried all her laughing would wake Odin up and make her too energized to fall asleep but luckily the peeing dog and pooping cat story put her in a good mood and she was ready to snuggle her American Girl Doll, Rebecca, to sleep.

Mommy lesson for the day: poop and pee is funny. Use it to your advantage to alter your toddler’s moods and laugh a little yourself. It’s a win-win, people.

In keeping with the theme of the bedtime story, here’s a picture of the cookies we’re making tomorrow.

They won’t look exactly like these because I’m altering them in honor of this month’s holiday. Keep your eyes out for a post about them in the next day or two.

Sleep well my friends!

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3 responses »

  1. You are really quite amusing, and should consider writing children’s stories for a living!!!! I for one would be happy to share them with my future children.

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