Monthly Archives: February 2012

And I’m Back!


Back in the water that is. It’s already been 5 years since my swimming career came to a halt and it’s been 4 years since I’ve swam regularly. Man have I missed the smell of chlorine. There’s nothing quite like licking your skin hours after being in the pool and getting a big whiff of it. Chlorine and the pool put me in a happy place, especially now because it’s my alone time. No kids. Just me. Ahhhh, so nice.









I didn’t think I’d ever convince Cullen to get a health club membership and as it turns out, I didn’t have to.  He was willing to sign up without any whining on my part since a knee injury has kept him from running for two years now.  The lure of childcare and a swimming pool was all it took. Well, that and what the scale was reading…

This morning, after dropping Lil off at school, O and I took our first trip to the health club. I was a little worried that Odin would have a meltdown in the childcare center and one of the workers would come get me. I was expecting it. Actually, truth be told I was expecting not to even make it into the pool today. I figured we’d have to make multiple trips to the childcare center to let O get acclimated before I’d be able to leave him. These were my expectations because  I tried a health club membership when Lilly was O’s age. She refused to stay in the childcare center without sobbing in the fetal position the entire time I was gone. It was a pathetic sight.  As it turns out, O is not like his sister and simply waved as I walked out.

I’m ecstatic to report that I was left in peace for my entire workout. I swam for 45 minutes and got 2000 yards in. The first 300 yards were brutal as my arms protested the repetitive strokes. Lots of stretching ensued. I was doing open turns due to my pregnant state and feeling like an amateur. I finally sucked it up and tried a flip turn. I was successful and all was well with my psyche after that.

I feel like I have regained a little piece of my former self. Ya know, the person I was before kids ruled my life. I’m working on being able to classify myself as an athlete again. Of course, in just about 8 weeks I’ll have to put my membership on hold for 4 months until I can put the newbie in childcare but It’s going to be a great 8 weeks. And as an added bonus Lil is now signed up for swim lessons! It starts this week and goes right up to my due date which, as long as everything goes according to plan, should be perfect.

I’m currently a little exhausted and following my workout I was ravenous but it feels so good and working out puts me in such a better mental state. O is currently messing with that good mental state as he is protesting his nap meaning I won’t be able to take a little rest. STINKER!

Oh well. Life is good!

Comparisons between a young boy and a young canine


1. They both find joy in trying to catch the uncatchable. For example, when the snow was falling the other day our dog, Dragon, was running around the yard like a maniac trying to catch snowflakes. This morning O saw the dust particles floating in the ray of sunshine and tried frantically to catch them.


2. To varying degrees they are both destructive. Every time I leave Dragon in the house when we leave he gets into something. He gets on the counters and takes things and shreds them. I never see him do this when we’re home. This week he destroyed a hard, plastic vacuum attachment, a bag of fun colored pasta, the corner of a library book, a dirty diaper (I forgot to lock the gate for the upstairs) and the handle to the kids’ tennis racket (while in the garage). That’s just what comes to mind. O, on the other hand, pees on things in the house (though I suppose that’s hardly his fault since we let him have naked time), mangles books and chucks things for fun (folded laundry is his favorite and since I’m the primary laundry folder I find this behavior highly unacceptable!)

3. They both like to play fetch. It keeps them busy for long stretches of time and typically they are wrestling each other to get the ball.

4. They are hilarious one moment and obnoxious the next. Aren’t all young creatures this way?

5. They are very ticklish. Dragon is the most ticklish dog I know. I hardly start petting him and he begins freaking out with his legs rapidly convulsing. It’s kind of amusing but I wish I could pet him without sending him into fits. O loves to be tickled and provokes us all the time. His laugh is infectious.

6. They stink.

7. They have a four wheeler obsession. They whine like the babies they are if they aren’t allowed to go for a ride.

8. Their energy levels are astounding. They run around like maniacs, usually chasing each other, and I get tired just watching.

9.  They have beautiful eyes. O gets his from me. Cullen told me the other day that O’s are brighter than mine and I told him that’s just because mine have been dulled by the reality of life whereas he is still living the dream. Dragon doesn’t get his eyes from me… they’re yellow. Makes him look very wolfish.

10. They are extremely sensative. They’re both lovers and know when they’ve done wrong. They do not like being yelled at though that hardly deters them from exhibiting less than stellar behavior at times. In addition, they both came over to me yesterday when I couldn’t stop crying (pregnant people are known to do this from time to time) and comforted me. It was so sweet on both their parts and made me feel so loved. I even stopped crying for brief moments until I started back up again.

I’ll stop the list of similarities here although I’m sure there are plenty more I’ve glossed over.

And though I may complain about them at length sometimes, I do love my boys.

Pissing in a jug


Yup, that’s what I got to do all day yesterday. I wasn’t collecting a urine sample for kicks, I’m not that strange. I promise! My OB wanted a 24 hour urine sample so that they can see how much protein my body is getting rid of.

I should probably clarify. I didn’t have to pee directly into a jug. That would have been a bit challenging considering the fact that my belly extends far enough in front of me that it impairs my view. I think you know what I’m trying to say here. So I peed in a pot thingy and then poured the contents into the neon orange jug they gave me. Fun, right…

Not at first. I forgot to take the jug with me while I was out of the house in the morning running errands with O. 3 1/2 hours is a long time for a pregnant person to go without peeing. Now mind you, I do have a stellar bladder and have probably boasted this fact to you in the past. Anyways, by the time we got home I really, REALLY had to pee. I got my pot and filled it up. I was pretty impressed with the measured results.

26 fluid ounces! That’s a lot of piss in one go since the pot only held 30 ounces. Bet ya can’t beat that.

Honestly, I don’t want to know even if you do. Throughout the rest of the day I came nowhere close to that first amount. I was feeling a bit disappointed with myself but then…

In the middle of the night I peed 28 ounces. A new record! Woo hoo! I felt pretty accomplished as I crawled back in bed and drifted off to sleep. I’m such a champ.

This morning I took my two neon orange jugs and proudly handed them over to the receptionist at my OB office. It’s nice not having to catch my pee in a plastic pot anymore though it was neat to see how much I piss in a 24 hour period. It was more than I would have guessed.

Isn’t pregnancy FUN?!? That’s what I’m going to keep telling myself for the next 9 weeks. If I lie to myself enough I just might start believing it.

Happy pissing, people.




Poop Scouts and Popcorn


As I have mentioned I have two large dogs.  These dogs have become very passionate about tennis balls as you can see from the picture below and thanks to my FIL and his tennis addiction I have hundreds of “dead” tennis balls at my disposal. My yard is quickly becoming a tennis ball graveyard. With the mild winter and the dogs’ ball fetching passion we have been spending a lot of time in our backyard these days hitting tennis balls, playing on the swing set and playing run and chase.










That outdoor scenario sounds really great until I mention that while we’re out there we are dodging poop mines thanks to those two large canines. It turns out that large dogs take large poops so they are typically easy to spot although we do ride around on the four wheeler  and the dogs aren’t always careful where they step so scouting isn’t always a simple task.  We play outside in our boots.

However, since we’ve started playing in the backyard more and since I’m hosting an Easter egg hunt at my house in April for my mom’s group I’m making a concerted effort to be a better poop picker-upper. That’s where these two hooligans come in.













I enlisted their help today to be my poop scouts. They were instructed to sweep the yard for poop and report back to me when they located piles. Lilly set off enthusiastically saying, “I think I saw a large dump over here!”   It sounded funny and cute when she said it but now that I write it down it seems a lot more disgusting. Sorry for that. Please forgive me. Any ways, after about a half hour of shoveling I completed my chore although the kids ditched me after about 10 minutes. I feel accomplished.

Are you done hearing about poop yet? I thought so.

I don’t want you leaving here feeling dirty from my poop story so here’s something I think you may be amused by.

The scenario:

This afternoon I made popcorn since I was hungry and I knew the kids would dig it. I divided the popcorn into 3 servings; 2 small ones for the kids and one larger one for me. As I’m scarfing down my popcorn (homestyle of course) I thought to myself, “I bet Lilly is going to want more. I should save some for her.” Then I ate every last morsel as fast as I could. It was a nice thought to save some for my darling daughter but the buttery, salty deliciousness was too much for my paltry self control.

Just about the time I wiped the crumbs from my belly (because that’s where crumbs collect when you’re pregnant) Lilly comes in with her empty bowl, “Mama, please I may have more popcorn?”

And I thought to myself, “Mama, you’re an ass.”

What I said to that beautiful girl with her large brown, pleading eyes was, “Um, I’m sorry, sweetie. The ah, the baby ate it all! Yeah, that baby is a popcorn monster!” She looked at me a little disappointed, a little amused and a lot like I was the craziest person she’d ever met.

She settled for some cheese and crackers and I settled for being the crazy mom. A little crazy can be a lot of fun!

Just keeping it fun, people.


Gearing up for some good times










Well, just 10 more weeks to go until these two hooligans have a new brother or sister. We’re all pretty excited about it. Those weeks should fly by since there is Lilly’s 4th birthday to think about and plan, a friend’s wedding and Easter festivities to look forward to. There are also a few major projects I should address before I really don’t have any free time and am walking around in a haze of sleep derivation.

Sleep, not there is a thing that has been coming easily the past 5 or so days thanks to our new Sleep Number bed. It’s magical. I no longer have hip or back pain to complain about (though the pelvic pain persists) and am sleeping like a baby without needing to reposition my growing self all night long. *sigh* I can’t stop gushing to people about how wonderful my new bed is and I seem to find ways of bringing the topic up in conversation just to talk about it. I’m addicted to my bed. And ya know what? It’s late, so I’m gonna go lay in it now and be happy.

Sweet dreams, friends.



Doing what he loves


O spent all of Valentine’s Day doing what he loves. And by all day, I mean ALL day.









After we came home from dropping Lilly off at preschool Odin sat at the table for over an hour and put together 14 puzzles of varying complexity while I worked on the computer. Afterwards he needed a snack because it’s hard work doing puzzles all by yourself when you’ve just turned 2, although he makes it look easy.











After picking Lil up we went to Grandma Anke’s house and O did 4 more puzzles. Then we went to the library together and he helped Lilly do two more huge floor puzzles. I’m pretty sure he’s better than his almost-four-year-old sister. Finally, after coming back home from a fun afternoon of puzzling he and Lilly did another big alphabet floor puzzle. Honestly, all O did yesterday was puzzle and eat.

It was a pretty sweet day for a very sweet boy.

(Disclaimer:  I know this isn’t the first time I’ve highlighted O’s puzzling addiction and it won’t be the last. As his mommy I am very proud of his puzzling skills and could sit and watch him figure them out all day long. Some days I do!)

A gift, of sorts

A gift, of sorts

Yesterday I experienced something wonderful. Something I’ve always dreamed about but never indulged in. Something that has erased a lot of guilt in a matter of hours. In addition, I’m considering it as a Valentine’s Day present simply because the services were performed in close proximity to Valentine’s Day and my husband doesn’t acknowledge this holiday. And also because it allowed me to guiltlessly ignore domestic duties and spend time doing what it is I love to do most; hang out with my kids sans distractions.

So what is it exactly that I experienced, you should be wondering?

I experienced what it’s like to have a cleaning lady come for a few hours.

~~Sound the uplifting, ethereal music with crescendoing trumpets and harps.~~

I’ve never had a cleaning lady come before and let me tell ya something, it was magical! It wasn’t just the fact that i had someone else scour my bathrooms and dust my rooms, not that that in itself wasn’t enough to gush about. It’s that in preparing for her arrival I thoroughly picked up the entire house and rid it of clutter. Well, almost all the clutter. There is one counter top that is a magnet for shit. You know what I’m talking about. It’s that one counter that you pile all the miscellaneous papers, drawings, tools, pens etc. Basically it contains all the crap you can’t get rid of but doesn’t have a home. Some lucky people may simply have a drawer of crap but most of us have a counter and a drawer too.

Anyways, I digress. Let’s bring it back to the cleaning lady and why exactly she came. The obvious reasons for this question would be that I’m pregnant, lazy and there is just too much damn house to straighten and clean in a reasonable period of time while in my wake two little tornadoes undo all my hard work. Sounds like reason enough to hire a little help, doesn’t it?

I’m gonna answer that for you with a resounding YES, but as it turns out there is a different explanation behind the cleaning lady’s presence. It’s kind of a funny story. Well, I think it’s funny so I’ll share it with you.


There once was a pregnant mommy with severe pelvic pain. Normal tasks like walking and getting in/out of bed/cars/pants was painful not to mention vacuuming. In tears this mommy lamented to her husband about the pains that household chores were inflicting on her and her inability to give the house the thorough cleans it so desperately needed because it took so long to complete the basic cleaning/picking up.

Her husband felt bad for her and offered to take on some of the cleaning responsibilities, primarily the vacuuming which was at least a twice per week chore thanks to their two canine friends and filthy children. This made pregnant mommy feel a little better for the moment, though she didn’t really know when her husband would get around to performing these chores. Her husband then walked away and most certainly thought, “What the hell did I just offer to do? Well at least she stopped crying. I hate it when she cries.”

Pregnant mommy’s pelvic pain got a little better each day as she became more vigilant about how she moved and what she did. She didn’t hold her husband accountable for the cleaning he had offered to do. She just let the house get dusty and the carpets nasty and it’s best not to comment on the state of the bathrooms. Of course she maintained the downstairs for appearances sake but the upstairs was a hot mess.

The messy state of the upstairs was really starting to mess with pregnant mommy’s mental stability. Mind you, she’s not a clean freak by any standards but she doesn’t enjoy living in a pig pen either. When her husband came home from work one night a few weeks later she lamented once more on the state of the house. He thought about this for a quick second and then responded charmingly, “Oh, I forgot! I pre-paid a cleaning lady for you for 4 hours of work.”

Pregnant mommy couldn’t help but chuckle to herself. She had asked her husband for cleaning lady services on a few occasions in the past, even as a Christmas present once or twice, but she’d always been ignored/denied. And now, without any prompting from her, he went ahead and hired some help. Maybe it was simply a thoughtful gesture though realistically it was to get out of contributing to the cleaning he had volunteered to perform.  Whatever the motive, pregnant mommy wasn’t bothered in the least. She was thrilled. And in fact it gave pregnant mommy the gusto to get the house straightened up and in order so she could maximize her 4 hours of service and have the cleaning lady do all the really gross jobs she had been avoiding for so long.

And pregnant mommy, despite her flair-up in pelvic pain from her flurry of organizing and cleaning, was happy.

The end.


So that’ s pretty much the story behind why I had a cleaning lady come. The story pleases me, as it should since it’s my story. Hopefully you found it slightly amusing too. If not, bummer ’cause you can’t get the last  few minutes of your life back. Either way, I highly recommend treating yourself to a little domestic help if you never have. Best $60 my husband has ever spent for me (on house related things of course!) Now I just need to maintain the house in its current state… Or convince the husband that a cleaning lady every so often is a brilliant idea…

Wish me luck!

Happy Valentine’s Day to you!

A Day With My Lovelies


Today was a fun day. We spent all week prepping and talking this day up. Parts of it were a hit whereas other parts were a miss. But hey, that’s how this parenting/life thing works, right? Let me share a little of it with you.

Lilly and I spent 3 days crafting her valentines for school today. She was very excited to give them to her classmates during their class party. They ate muffins together I’m told.

Lilly sponge painted the hearts, wrote her name 20 times, and inserted the pipe cleaners. It was a fun way to spend our afternoons together while Odin took his naps.


These are the valentines that she came home with. So many cute homemade cards.


Our afternoon cookie decorating playdate we had scheduled fell through but that didn’t stop our confectionery activities. Lilly and I were waiting for O to wake up from his 2 1/2 hour nap so we whipped up some marshmallow pops


and then we dove into the cookie decorating while dinner was cooking.

They’re getting so much better at decorating and not eating every cookie in their hands. Me, not so much. I feel I should point out my belly that snuck into that last photo. See the red crescent at the bottom? That’s it. Hi baby!

Our fun didn’t end with cookies. We ate dinner with Grandma and then we had Lilly’s Family Valentine’s Dance at her school. Every day this week when Lil got in the car after school she excitedly talked about the dance. She would explain to her oblivious brother about how much fun they were going to have and what to expect. I coaxed Daddy into joining us and we also brought their grandparents and a neighbor friend.

My pictures suck but here’s a few that highlight the fun.

I don’t think my kids’ feet were on the floor very much. Daddy is spinning O. I feel dizzy just looking at this pic and that makes me feel old.


The kids were happiest when they were lifted into the air, twirled around and falling down. Good thing we brought backup to help with the spinning!


Just like their mom and dad they make stellar facial expressions while busting a move. Rock on kiddos!


And rock on they did. This pic shows 3 generations of guys who love a good party. They owned that corner of the gym for all of 2 minutes until O found the light switch and put the place in darkness (aside from the fun disco lights) for 10 minutes. That’s my boy! Unfortunately my kids are huge wussies and as soon as the lights were off they started melting down.



So we pumped them full of fruit and cupcakes and juice. Yum!










Of course the kids had the most fun while punishing their dad and grandpa on the dance floor. They’ll both whine tomorrow about how their backs hurt. I already had to give their dad a shoulder massage. Wah wah wah.











But in all fairness he was dancing while carrying both kids for most of the night. He’s a great dad and really made the dance fun(er) for the kids! Damn I wish I had better pics!

All-in-all, I’m glad we went to the dance. It was a fun way to end our Valentine filled day. Sure, it would’ve been nice had they embraced the dancing a bit more and stayed on their own two feet but I wasn’t the one carrying them around so it’s all good!

I hope you all enjoy your time with your Valentines this weekend. I know I will be!

My furry nuisances

My furry nuisances

My hubby grew up with dogs and he treats them like people. He loves their smell/stink and finds great comfort in their presence. I for one, grew up a cat person although I always liked dogs. We were just much too busy with all our athletic escapades growing up to have time for a dog. I love my dogs but it’s a different type of love than my husband has. I don’t find comfort in their stink. Either way, most of the time I’m glad we have them around.

Meet Dragon. He’s our 1 year old Shepherd. We got him on Halloween 2010 which was the same day that Odin took his first steps.

Anyways, Dragon is the first dog that I’ve raised (and I’m not saying I raised him well!). He’s a total goon and I love him. My kids can brutalize him and he takes it…for the most part. He loves to play fetch, chase the four-wheeler and he is the itchiest dog I’ve ever met.

He scratches himself all day long. I took him to the vet when he was younger because I thought he had a problem but I was just given special shampoo and told that if I thought he was suffering they could give him a cortisone shot. He itches incessantly but never itches anything raw so I let him scratch. My major issue with all the scratching is all the hair that then flies all over my house. I have to sweep/vacuum every 2 days otherwise it’s a disgusting mess in my house.

Owning and wearing fleece is stupid but I’ve had these pants since my college swimming days and they fit my expanding ass so I deal. Though I must say that the sight of all the hair on my pants sent me into a cleaning frenzy this morning. So maybe I should wear more fleece as a motivator! Haha… NO!

In addition to our young furry nuisance we also have a 9 year old mutt, named Doc, with a severe mommy complex.

When Cullen and I were dating and I would go over to his condo Doc would get so excited to see me he’d pee. Thankfully he’s grown out of that habit although I can’t sit on the floor without being mauled. He flops his body on top of me and whines like if I don’t pet him immediately he’ll keel over and kick it right on the spot. It’s a little pathetic but I find it endearing. Then Dragon comes in and invades his mommy time and the dog war begins. They fight for my love.

At this point in Doc’s life he is content just laying around most of the time though he does enjoy barking at the kids or anyone that comes into our house, chasing the four-wheeler and romping with Dragon. But mostly he just sleeps. I envy him.

Here’s Dragon looking longingly outside and then back at me.

“Hey Momma,” he’s saying, “do ya think you could open this door for me? I only open it when you’re not looking so that I can go harass the neighbors.” Yes, Dragon is a bit of an escape artist. He opens doors. Like I mentioned, he’s a furry nuisance. But I like his smarts.

One of the major problems with having dogs is the guilty feelings I get about whether they get enough exercise and time outside. They rarely get to go for walks because taking 2 kids, a stroller and 2 dogs for a walk isn’t as easy as it seems. Oh good, you agree that this scenario doesn’t seem easy at all. Thanks 😉 The great thing about Dragon is that I recently learned he loves to play fetch. Now I just stand my pregnant ass on the lawn, hit the tennis ball across the yard and let him do his thing. The only hiccup to this activity is that Doc grew up a city dog and never learned fetch. He prefers keep away which makes things difficult at times because my pregnant ass it NOT running after them. I’ve learned that having 3 balls when we go out to play is a must otherwise it’s just pointless. 1 for Doc to chew apart, 1 to play fetch with and 1 as a reserve to use once Doc steals the ball. It’s just a good thing my father-in-law is obsessed with tennis and a bit of a hoarder so I have access to tons and tons of old tennis balls. My yard is becoming a tennis ball graveyard.

Well, as I sit here on my ass and type about my dogs the guilt has built and now I must go hit the ball for the dogs. It’s February, unusually nice outside and sunny. Time to get a little vitamin D. I wonder if it’ll help boost my platelet levels…

Cheers to you! Enjoy the day.

Random Goodness


I know, this is not a post about the promised unicorn poop. Some days you just run out of time, ya know.

So I made these Rice Krispies Treat pops instead because they took a fraction of the time and I thought the neighbor boys would enjoy them.

Lilly thought they were cool but she strategically placed the treat in front of her face and refused to smile for me. Stinker!

This was a treat given to her last week by Grandma Maggie. She had no problem smiling for this one. Kids and their camera behavior. So unpredictable!

Here’s the self-declared princess on the way to preschool last week. She was a bit bummed that she had to leave her crown in the car. Please notice she is strategically avoiding eye contact with the camera. I tried a handful of times for eye contact but was denied each time. She looks pleased with herself, doesn’t she?

Odin in all his 2 year-old glory. Please notice the marker around his mouth. When I asked him if the marker tasted good he replied, “Yeshhh!”

And when I asked him just why in the heck there was marker all over the floor when I specifically told him markers are just for paper he gave me this look:

I think it says, “Ma, I’m 2. This is what I do.”

or maybe, “It wouldn’t be washable if it wasn’t made for other surfaces.”

or, “You’re the dumb-ass that let me color with it in the first place.”

That last one seems the most accurate, unfortunately.

If this post seemed a bit incoherent or incomplete or whatever it’s because I’m distracted. The Big Bang Theory is on right now and I can’t help but watch. We’ve only recently been turned on to this show and find it freaking hilarious! It’s really Cullen’s type of show. He’s a major nerd at heart.

Hope the pics made ya smile.