Nappy-ass Horse Hair


Santa thought it was a good idea to get the kids horses for Christmas. Not real ones! I’m not on crack after all. These are large play horses that the kids can use to give their dolls/babies/stuffed animals a ride etc. Odin just likes to throw his down the basement steps. Today while Odin napped Lilly asked if I’d play with them with her. Of course I obliged. I started playing with Odin’s horse with the nice blonde mane. I brushed it’s hair, fed it a carrot and then decided to practice some different types of braids. It was a pretty successful venture. I was feeling happy and accomplished.


But then I looked over at Lilly who wanted to show me what she was doing with her horse’s hair. Essentially she was tangling the hell out of it. I couldn’t handle this and took the horse and attempted to brush the tail hair. I’m not sure why, but the texture of Lilly’s horse’s hair is not as fine and nice as Odin’s. Probably because it’s been abused by a three year old who thinks she’s a styling genius as she gets the little plastic brush stuck in the long black hair. I’m cringing in my heart just thinking about it. I try to let her play with my hair sometimes and make it .3 seconds before I freak out and make her stop.

Anyways, back to brushing this black Stallion’s bullshit hair. Untangling knots is something I’m typically very good at and take pride in my skills at doing such which is why I was getting so pissed off. Basically I spent 15 minutes working myself into a frenzy trying to untangle the mess.  No matter the technique I used the hair would not untangle. What the f***! I threw the damn plastic toy brush across the floor and answered a phone call. When I returned I was refocused and determined to figure out the nappy mess before me. I ripped the shit out of that horse’s tail hair working up a sweat in the process (that fact is slightly embarrassing) to no avail at which point Odin woke up from his nap. I brought him downstairs and he sat on my lap (which is shrinking by the day) while I ripped three chucks apart from the one main mass, braided that crap and called it a day.

I wish I had a picture of what this tail looked like before the braid but unfortunately I was in too much of a tizzy to think about documenting this disaster as it played out.

Do you recall those accomplished feelings I had after braiding the blonde horse’s hair? Yeah, needless to say they had evaporated. What brought back those happy feelings was this:


A little girl concerned for her dog who was suffering the effects of having his root canal filled this afternoon.

And this:

A little boy who found it very amusing to view the world in shades of blue. It made me extra cheery that he preferred to view things through his blue water bottle instead of his sister’s pink one. Just saying…

Just another day in the life of a Stay-at-home Mama. Cheers!


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