Monthly Archives: November 2011

Our Christmas Tree Can Talk!


Lilly: Hey Mom! Our Christmas tree can talk!

Me: Oh, what is it saying?

Lilly: “Wow! My needles can fall off.”

Me: That’s great dear…

Lilly: And Mom, it’s not making bad decisions anymore.

Me: The tree is not making bad decisions anymore?

Lilly: Yeah!


What I’ve learned this Thanksgiving week…


1)   If you have toddlers you must plan on a late night McDonald’s run on the way home from Thanksgiving dinner because they didn’t eat much… Momma on the other hand ate enough for the entire family. And no, it’s not okay because I’m pregnant! Though I appreciate the attempt to make me feel less pig-ish. You’re sweet.

2)   3 1/2 year-olds are wise beyond their years. For instance, I was talking with Lilly in the car on Thanksgiving about working and how some some mommies have to work just like Daddy so that their families can have waffles too. (Our world centers around chocolate chip Eggo waffles. Doesn’t yours?) Any ways, I told her my work was taking care of her and her brother all day, every day although it’s fun work. To this she responded, “I’m not fun work, I’m hard work!” Oh sweet girl, you don’t know how true the later part of that statement is.

3)  If you make a batch of amazing cinnamon rolls you’d better be prepared to eat all the leftovers because it would be blasphemous to throw them away. *Note: be prepared to notice a little extra jiggling around the buttox region. Just sayin…








Here’s the link for them. They’d make a great addition to Christmas breakfast and are made the night before!

4)  When you make cookie-pops make sure you bake the stick onto the bottom of the cookie (the part touching the pan) and use parchment paper. Then package them up and give them to all the little people in your life. They’ll love ’em.








5)  Buy more celery around the holidays and keep it handy to snack on.

6)  Disney Princess Memory is just as much fun for big kids as it is for little kids.









7)  Christmas tree shopping in the rain is just as much fun as Christmas tree shopping in the sun but wearing boots instead of tennis shoes is advisable. I speak from experience, people.








8)  Put your kids to sleep in Grandma’s bed with her and they’ll sleep all night. When your mom mentions she’s off every other Saturday consider that an offer to watch your kids. Drop and run!

9)  Toddlers LOVE Black Friday shopping when it includes White Cheddar Cheese Balls. Daddy enjoys Black Friday shopping when he gets a new toy. Momma enjoys Black Friday shopping when it includes fudge. Everyone wins!










I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving with family and friends. We sure did!

Now for a day of cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping and football. Woo hoo! Go Bears!

Stupid Parents


You know the type. The type that bring their toddlers to an adult movie and ruin it for everyone else. I want to stab those parents in the eye with a pen. Who brings a child to see Breaking Dawn? Idiots, that’s who. As Cullen mentioned to me while I was bitching to him about this yesterday, we’re not entirely sure who it’s a worse situation for; the child because she/he is getting yelled at constantly by the parents to be quiet or the other movie-going patrons because their movie experience is continuously interrupted by a yelling kid. To those parents, I just want say, YOU SUCK!!!

There, I feel slightly better.

Practicing for baby












I’m so jealous of kids’ freedom to pass out whenever they need to, even if they are half-finished eating a cheeseburger. Thanks for the leftovers O.

Since Lilly brought home the first round of colds 4 weeks ago my wee ones have been giving me a taste of what it’s like to have an infant during the night. For 4 straight weeks I have been getting up 1-5 times a night, bouncing between beds and re-snuggling them to sleep. Cullen has been helping but I’m exhausted! I’m really feeling the strains of not being able to drink wine and coffee and herbal teas to the extent that my body desires them. On the up side to this, Odin made the switch to a big boy bed last week so now we can just climb into his bed with him until he falls back asleep (I’m sure this routine is part of the problem.) I’ve been using sugar to get me through the days. This week we baked  mint chocolate chip cookies, apple-carrot cupcakes and an angle food cake with chocolate frosting. Mmmmm. The apple-carrot cupcakes are ridiculously delicious and instead of sharing the love with neighbors and friends I’m hoarding them in the fridge and eating them for breakfast and dessert like the fat kid that I am. Here’s a link for ’em. They’d make a great addition to your Thanksgiving dessert table and they’re easy to make.

Well, gotta go get the troops ready. I’m dropping them off and going to see Breaking Dawn. I hope I can stay awake in a dark theater!!!














Today I had a bake-a-thon with a buddy and her cousin. We made a chocolate cheesecake with an Oreo crust, spiced chai sugar cookies, Peanut butter blossoms (you know, the peanut butter cookie with the Hershey Kiss) and another version of them using Almond butter and lastly banana cupcakes with honey-cinnamon cream cheese frosting. I think that covers it. I’m using the term ‘we’ very loosely because really I just made the spiced chai sugar cookies and then wrangled the little hooligans while the other ladies baked the rest. But I did sample a lot!


My pics are pretty poor but the ones on the left are the banana cupcakes and the ones on the right are obviously the peanut butter blossoms. I didn’t get a pic of the cheesecake or a chance to taste it. That will happen tomorrow.


These are the spiced chai sugar cookies. Turkeys and chicks. Like my icing work? It got a little ‘loose’ at the end if ya catch my drift. Har har.











And thank goodness we had a very willing taste-tester at our disposal! As you can see, there was some pretty intense cookie eating going on. No wonder he wouldn’t nap…





“Hey! Little boy…”


Who gave you permission to grow up? I know it certainly was not me. Good thing there’s a new baby in the works.

Do you see that child on the left? Do you notice anything different about him? Well, I’ll tell you. That love-bug now sleeps in a big boy bed. He pretty much decided things for himself yesterday as he climbed out of his crib screaming. Hell yeah on an easy transition but waahhhh, he’s really growing up! (Yes, people, I know kids do these things but he’s still my little boy darn it all!)

If it were Lilly we were talking about we wouldn’t be having this heart to heart for another 2 months and it would be because baby Odin needed the crib and she needed to get the heck out. I would be cursing the heavens while holding the door shut for 45 minutes and telling the little lady that she did in fact have to go lay down and go to sleep.Ugh, just thinking of that time in our lives makes me want to open a bottle of wine! (Another big Waahhhhh because I can’t.)

But it’s Odin we’re talking about, not Lilly. Sweet, lover-of-sleep Odin who goes right down after a little snuggle from daddy. Naps may be a different story but hey, I never said the kid was a saint!

Oh, and just for the record, after a few minutes of serious deliberation today Lilly decided on the names of the stuffed animals pictured above. The one on the left, well that’s Lion. And the one on the right is Panda. Not because that’s what kind of animals they are but because that’s just their names. Got it? Any confusion? The only thing that confused me was why it took her so long to come up with such obvious names. But hey, at least I won’t forget.

“Mama, back off!”…whose craft is it, really?


Okay, so this wasn’t really said to me by Lil but it could’ve been. It certainly sounds like something she’d say to me. In actuality, this is something I said to myself quite a few times the other day. What am I talking about? Crafting. As a parent, I’ve found it really difficult at times to sit back and let the kids take over a project. That really is the point of the craft after all, isn’t it? To let the kids’ imagination and skills work themselves out using the medium you provide.

Knowing all this full well, I still failed. I couldn’t help myself but suggest that a feather would look really great over on the other side of the turkey or the brown paint would look better on the paper plate rather than the table. I really should have made one myself as an example for Lilly to base her turkey off of and then exited the room as she crafted her own. Until we were finished she had no idea what the end product was suppose to look like which is is probably why I helped out so much.

There, now I’ve given my intrusive craft behavior an excuse and feel much better about myself. I’m glad we had this talk.

Even with my help it’s still a pretty goofy looking turkey.


Preschool social drama


About two weeks ago Lilly got in the car after preschool all flustered and unloaded her preschool drama on me. This was out of the norm for her because usually she doesn’t tell me squat about the goings on of her classroom. For months now we’ve asked her if she’s made any friends and if so, what their names are. Other people ask Lil the same question. Finally she had an answer for everyone, “Hilda is my friend.” We all cheered. “Hooray, Lilly has a friend. She’s not going to go through life as the loner girl who doesn’t associate with others.”

So on this day, Lil got in the car and immediately explained how she got in an argument with her little friend, Hilda, about how many dogs Lilly has. Lilly said she has 2. Hilda said Lilly only has 1. They argued this point until Hilda told Lilly she didn’t want to be friends anymore which was just fine with Lil. What really went down, who knows. I’m sure there was a misunderstanding in the dialogue and Hilda was telling Lilly she had 1 dog herself at home.  Either way, Lilly has labeled Hilda as a “bad” friend and no longer associates with her at school. I tried to be all motherly and give her advice about second chances and misunderstandings but despite my efforts Hilda is still black listed.

Then last week as I was dropping Lil off she exclaimed from the back seat, “Oh! Dat’s my friend Wanda. She’s a good friend” I was happy to hear that Lil had found a new friend in her class and I could stop insisting she patch things with Hilda. Upon picking Lilly up, just 2 1/2 short hours later, she explained to me that Betty helped her with her zipper in class and now Betty is her friend, not Wanda. Poor Wanda. I bet she never saw it coming. Friends one minutes and then totally one-upped the next by another chick.

Of course, I quickly explained to Lilly that it’s okay to have many different friends in her class because there are a lot of nice kids that she goes to school with. The answer I received made me roll my eyes in defeat… again, “I only want one friend, mom.” Well girl, then one friend you shall have, I hope. I fear this is just a preview of what’s to come down the road. The thought of middle school and puberty sends shivers down my spine. Girls…drama drama drama. I hope this next one comes out boy!

*names were changed to protect identities

What planet are you from?


Because you’re not from mine. On my planet we stick our fingers in the chocolate frosting on a cake and lick it off. We don’t go whining to our sister for the wash cloth to wipe the frosting off and incriminate ourselves. Son, I know your mother taught you better. Pay attention!


On another note, I came across this new wonder today. It’s definitely from my planet. It’s something I can consume with ease unlike its cousin fruit. It’s a kewiberry. I briefly recall hearing about these and when a lady at the store asked her mother what it was I had to pipe in with my unintelligible 2 cents. “It’s like a cross between a grape and a kewi. The skin is a bit tough but edible. They’re pretty good, I think. Well, that is all.” Bottom line: I have two kids. I know how to bullshit when necessary. And you’re welcome Sam’s Club.

This must be a trick…


…because your attitude isn’t a treat!

As you’re all aware, yesterday was Halloween. For over a week I had been asked daily, “Is Halloween the next day?” Finally I was able to say, “Yes my beautiful princess, Halloween is tomorrow. Now go to sleep so we can have tons of fun!” Let’s be honest, it seemed like mandatory fun a lot of the day. Lil screamed and cried as she got out of the car for preschool. She copped a ‘tude during pumpkin pancake brunch with the Dougherty grandparents and Grammy. Was reluctant to dress up as a princess even though that’s what she wanted to be. As it turns out, when you’re a princess you can dress however you damn well please. And forget about wearing any stinking tiara.

That is of course until daddy threatens to leave you home while the rest of us go trick-or-treating unless you stand there in your outfit and smile for your mother, dang it all!

Now doesn’t she make a beautiful princess? And for the record, she is Sleeping Beauty because that’s the princess that wears her hair down. “No! I don’t want it up!” “No Grandma Maggie you may not brush the knots out!” -sigh! I think she’s a monster in a princess disguise.

This kid, well he’s a monster of a different sort. Actually, he was a shark. A roaring, chomping shark who loves candy. Much more cooperative than his big sister. All I had to saywas, “If you want candy, you need to put your shark costume on.” He’d run into my lap and I’d put the thing on. So much easier than the 3 1/2 year old.

They make a pretty cute pair though, attitudes aside. We really did have a lot of fun running away from our shark boy, dressing up and collecting tons of candy from our neighbors.

Halloween is a day that I’m reminded of how lucky we are to live in such a great neighborhood. I mean, just look at this loot! But really, it’s fun to see the neighbor kids all dressed up, go knocking on our friends’ doors and show off our costumes and deal with the emotional ups and downs of toddlers on a sugar high.

A few extra pics: putting Kelly’s old prom dress to good use, Grandma Anke as LuLu escorting Lilly, and Riding in style